There’s nothing like family. There’s no one better to turn to when you’re in need. Family raised you, and family is what will keep you going throughout your life. That’s why family conflict can have such a severe impact on a person’s happiness and wellbeing.
Every family fights.
Sometimes it’s about small things — someone says or does something that causes slight offense. Those bridges are easy to mend. But when family conflict starts to rip relationships apart, it can be hard to take a step back and look at the situation as a bystander rather than letting your emotions carry you away.
What is there to feud over?
Every family is different, and have different kinds of disagreements. But in my experience as an investigator, family conflict often stems from four common causes.
It’s all about the money
It should come as no surprise that one of the most common causes of disagreements between family members is money. Whether it’s money that has been loaned to a family member and hasn’t been paid back yet, money that is due for alimony or child support, or money that stands to be inherited, money has the power to ruin even the best of family relationships.
There’s no trust
Everyone has told a lie at one point or another. But when little white lies that help more than harm turn into untruths that break trust, it can be hard for a relationship to recover. Once trust between two people is broken, it can often result in deep rifts being formed between more than just those directly involved. Family members will start choosing sides, leading to even further divisions, secrecy, and growing distrust that can become irreparable if an outside party doesn’t step in to see the family conflict resolved.
It’s ancient history
I’ve heard it said time and time again that what happens in the past stays in the past. But when it comes to family feuds this isn’t always the case. What happened in the past can have a deep and lasting impact on family dynamics. Disagreements that go unresolved can lead to family conflict that lasts for generations, while uncovering the truth can strengthen bonds and see long-lost family members reuniting.
The arrival of new family members
Familial bonds are strong. And when an outsider enters the picture, disagreements are bound to ensue. New marriages and the new family members that come with them are a perfect example of how a hierarchy can shift, causing family conflict if not handled carefully. It often comes down to the trust that I mentioned earlier, sometimes with an aspect of money thrown in for good measure. While most people feel that they can inherently trust their family, someone new joining the mix adds an element of distrust that could see families splitting along the seams.
What can you do to stop family conflict in its tracks?
While each family’s situation is different, there is one key piece of advice that I give to every one of my clients, and I feel like the Captain in Cool Hand Luke put it best: “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.”
When communication breaks down in families, that’s when disagreements turn into something more. It’s when families start falling apart, often causing irreparable damage for all involved. Family relationships take work. Maintaining communication, trying to understand one another’s points of view and working together to solve disputes and disagreements is the ideal scenario, but I know first-hand that it’s not always possible, particularly when emotions become involved and tensions start to build.
That’s when I’d advise looking to an outside party. Investigators like me can help you to separate fact from fiction, taking mistrust out of the equation. Whether your family conflict is about money, lies that have been told, or an ancient grudge that remains unsettled, I can gather the evidence that you need to truly put the past behind you and reforge the family bonds that have been broken.
If you have a family conflict that you’d like to see resolved, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll be more than happy to help.